


Some Motherfuckin Horn Pile Feelings Jam Time With The B100 Brother

by AphelionWrites



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Boys Kissing, Crushes, Feelings Jams, Flush Crush, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gay, Gentle Kissing, Hair Braiding, M/M, Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak moirails, Secret Crush, equius has good hair to braid, equius is jealous, equius is sweaty, gamzee doesnt care about the hemospectrum and is very cryptic and also helpful with towels, gamzees very strong and stoned, meowrails (background), they sit in the horn pile have a feelings jam and kiss, theyre super gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 20:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13577949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphelionWrites/pseuds/AphelionWrites
Summary: Equius and Gamzee chill at Gamzee's hive in his horn pile and talk about some motherfuckin feelings and Equius gets his hair braided





	Some Motherfuckin Horn Pile Feelings Jam Time With The B100 Brother

Gamzee glanced over at Equius, who was sitting stiffly and carefully on his horn pile. A sheen of pale sweat made his forehead and shoulders shine. He was always so sweaty. Gamzee let out a contented sigh, nuzzling more comfortably into the mass of horns, being careful not to honk them and startle himself or equibro. He honked quietly.

"HeY eQuIbRo, HoW iS tHe MoThErFuCkInG HoRn PiLe WoRkInG fOr YoU?" Equius turned his head slightly. He had to keep very calm and still so as not to crush any of the Highb100d's horns with his immense STRENGTH.  
"I do not see what you mean, Highb100d." Gamzee waved his hand in a vague motion above his head.  
"YoU kNoW, tHe HoRn PiLe Is FoR mOtHeRfUcKiNg, ReLaXiNg AnD tAlKiNg AbOuT oUr MoThErFuCkInG dReAmS aNd ThE oThEr WiCkEd ShIt." Equius considered how anyone could find sitting in a pile of metal rela%ing, before remembering the pile of destroyed robots in his own respitblock.  
"How do I know if it is working, Highb100d?" Gamzee shrugged, staring at his wicked strong friend.  
"wElL i'M nOt MoThErFuCkInG SuRe, JuSt TrY tO ReLaX, yOu DoN't HaVe tO bE sO sTiFf." Equius tried to rela%, but he did not wish to damage the Highb1ood's horns, but he had requested Equius rela%.  
"But Highb100d, if I rela% I may damage your pile of fine 100king horns." Gamzee chuckled.  
"dOn'T wOrRy AbOuT iT eQuIbRo, i hAvE pLeNtY oF hOrNs, jUsT rElAx." Equius tried his best, and succeed in sinking into the horn pile, only bending a few of the Highb100d's horns. Gamzee watched with a drowsy smile across his painted face. Equius noticed Gamzee watching him with that smile, and felt a pale shade of blue dance across his face, and begin sweating even more. Equius mumbled under his breath.  
"...I need a towel." Gamzee blinked, and smiled.  
"sUrE eQuIbRo, LeT mE jUsT-" Equius cut him off.  
"No need Highb100d, do not waste your time on someone of lower rank. I can find my own." Equius searched his modus for a towel. He remembered his moirail- pardon, meowrail, Nepeta giving him a fresh one for while he was at the Highb100d's respitblock. He began to become irritated, being unable to find it as he continued searching his modus. "Fiddlesti%s..." Gamzee protested calmly.  
"nO BrO, i MoThErFuCkInG gOt iT." He closed his eyes for a moment and hoped for a wicked miracle from the messiahs. He opened his miracle modus, and to his surprise, a fluffy white towel fell onto his lap, which he passed to his wicked blue brother. "nO tRoUbLe." Equius took it gratefully and wiped off his forehead, pushing back his slick black hair.  
"...Thank you Highb100d." Gamzee watched Equius wipe his face and throat, and beneath the hair on his neck with a bit of a lingering stare.  
"nO pRoBlEm.." Equius turned and noticed Gamzee staring at him, and started sweating even more. ..Fiddlesti%s.  
"I-Is everything alright Highb100d?" Gamzee blinked, quickly glancing away. Equius could swear there was a faint purple tint to his face.  
"eVeRyThInGs wIcKeD sIcK mY fRiEnD." Equius felt sweat flourish on his forehead.  
"Pardon my insolence, but you were staring. Is anything wrong?" Gamzee shook his head. He looked with a bit of a dazed look on his face towards Equius' hair, and smiled.  
"yOuR hAiR jUsT lOoKs LiKe ThAt WicKeD sHit." Equius raised a hand and self consciously touched his greasy hair spilling down his back.  
"And.. that's good?" Gamzee snorted.  
"oF cOuRsE eQuIbRoThEr. iT wOuLd LoOk AwEsOmE pUt uP tHoUgH." Equius furrowed his eyebrows.  
"What do you mean, Highb100d?" Gamzee gestured broadly with his hands.  
"yKnoW, iF yOu bRaIdEd iT oR sOmEtHiNg, iN a pOnYtAiL." Equius touched his hair again.  
"I doubt it would look at all proper." Gamzee shrugged.  
"wHy wOrRy aBoUt lOoKiNg pRoPeR? i tHiNk iT wOuLd lOoK wIcKeD cOoL." Equius' face flushed a soft blue.  
"If it is your will, Highb100d, I may try it sometime." Gamzee's grin could bring on the moonrise.  
"tHaT's fUcKiNg aWeSoMe! iF yOu dOn'T mInD i cOuLd dO iT fOr yOu." Equius immediately raises his hands, in a slight panic.  
"No no, Highb100d, you mustn't trouble yourself with someone of the likes of me." Gamzee tilted his head to the side.  
"wElL, wHaT iF i wAnT tO?" Equius froze, still sweating. It was highly improper, but who was he to deny his superior something he wanted?  
"If.. it is your will, Highb100d." Gamzee smiled, but then stuck his tongue out.  
"cOoL! bUt yOu dOn'T hAvE tO kEeP cAlLiNg mE hIgHbLoOd. yOu aCt mUcH mOrE aS yOu sHoUlD tHaN i eVeR wIlL." Equius bit his tongue to keep from speaking out of turn again. It was true, the Highb100d fraternized with those of lower ranks on the hemospectrum as if it was not a big deal. But he was still a purpleb100d, and very prestigious. You did 100k down on him for acting so out of rank, but that didn't change his superiority.  
"It would be improper for me to call you anything different, Highb100d." Gamzee's dazed expression straightened out slightly.  
"pLeAsE cAlL mE gAmZeE, eQuIuS. iT iSnT wIcKeD fRiEnDlY oF uS iF yOu kEeP cAlLiNg mE tHaT. i wAnT uS tO bE rEaL fRiEnDs." Equius sighed.  
"If it is your will.. Gamzee." The word felt odd on his tongue. New. Foreign.  
"eXcElLeNt!" Gamzee immediately brightened, and carefully clambered out of the horn pile with his wiry lanky limbs. "cAn i dO iT nOw? jUsT tUrN tO tHe sIdE." Equius lifted himself as cautiously as possible, still crushing a few horns on his way, but positioned himself sideways. Gamzee opened his miracle modus, and two horns, a bottle of half-finished faygo, a broken unicycle pedal, and a shard of a throwing pin hit the floor before a few small rubber band looking things landed in Gamzee's hand. "tHeRe wE gO."  
Gamzee climbed back up onto the pile behind Equius, with the hair ties around his wrist. Equius watched this, somewhat ashamed of the jealously he felt. The Hi- Gamzee, was so fragile,and never broke anything just by touching it. He wished he could control his immense STRENGTH better, but it wasn't something he could fix. When he felt hands with long fingers comb through his fingers, he jumped.  
"iT's oKaY eQuIbRo, iTs jUsT mE." Gamzee pulled Equius' hair back gently, taking two thick sections from the fronts of his cheeks and pulling them over the rest. He began braiding them together, and he remarked on the thick grease coating Equius' hair. "wOw, eQuIbRo, yOuR hAiR iS mOtHeRfUcKiN gReAsY." The b100b100d stammered out an apology, focused on Gamzee's fingers running through his hair and moving it with surprising precision for someone on a constant sophor high. Gamzee smiled at the way Equius' shoulders relaxed slightly. An improvement. His work was neat and cleanly done, and he finished the small braids trailing over his temples, and he banded them together at the top of his head. "yOu hAvE gReAt hAiR fOr tHiS mOtHeRfUcKiN wIcKeD sHiT." Equius' breathing was gentler.  
"Thank you." Gamzee set to work on the rest of Equius' hair, braiding it carefully and into a complicated fishtail, working in the smaller braids that he removed the bands from quickly before adding them to the braid. Equius closed his eyes, feeling his hair moving and being passed around in Gamzee's hands. It was nicer than he'd thought it would be. Equius absently fiddled with his hands. Gamzee was so quiet, focused entirely on his activity. Equius could feel the heaviness of the hair hanging down into Gamzee's hands. He couldn't remember how long it had been  
since he'd been so relaxed. It was.. comforting to be near the quiet strength of the highb100d. He may not show it, but he knew Gamzee was hiding incredible reserves of strength somewhere. Equius listened to the sound of another rubber band twisting around his hair.  
"dOnE, wAnT tO sEe wHaT iT lOoKs lIkE?"  
"I would not mind. I'm sure you did a magnificent job, Hig- Gamzee." Gamzee grinned, and climbed off of the horn pile again. He extended a hand towards Equius, who stared at it, sweating.  
"No need, I-" Gamzee grabbed his hand and pulled him up and out of the horn pile, causing them to stumble into each other a bit. Gamzee honked.  
"tHeRe'S a mIrRoR iN mY aBlUtIoN bLoCk." Equius made his way around the horn pile towards the door to the ablution block. When he pushed it open, he noticed it was less of a mess than the rest of Gamzee's hive. Equius walked to the mirror and stared. His hair was gracefully braided, tracing around his head and amalgamating with the rest into a precisely executed fishtail, without a single stray hair. He reached up reverently and touched it, tracing Gamzee's handiwork as gently as he could. Absorbed in his new appearance, he turned his head to the sides, looking at the braid with fascination.  
"High- Gamzee, this is miraculous." He noticed his choice of words and cringed slightly when Gamzee laughed.  
"mIrAcLeS aRe wHaT i mOtHeRfUcKiN dO." Equius grumbled.  
"I just meant that I didn't think anyone could do such a thing to my hair. It's always so greasy from my excessive sweating that I assumed it would be difficult to deal with." Gamzee shrugged, gently laying a hand on Equius' head, who tried not to feel condescended.  
"nOt aT aLl, tHe gReAsY pArT mOtHeRfUcKiN hElPs, tHeRe aReN't aNy sTrAy hAiRs bEcAuSe tHeY sTiCk tOgEtHeR bEtTeR." Equius considered that, and it made sense. He looked at himself again, and his cheeks flushed. He looked different with his hair up. He seemed less intimidating, but no less STRONG. Equius traced his fingertips over his braid, and pulled it over his shoulder to look at. It was nice, and done very well. He thought about putting it up more often.  
"Thank you Highb100d." Gamzee immediately frowned.  
"yOu rEaLlY dOnT hAvE tO mOtHeRfUcKiN cAlL mE tHaT. yOuRe aLwAyS sO fOrMaL." Equius nods his head in apology.  
"Sorry.. Gamzee. Do you think.. you could do this again sometime?" Gamzee brightened, running a hand over Equius' braid.  
"oF cOuRsE! aNyThInG fOr a fRiEnD." His face flushes a nearly unnoticeable purple, but Equius notices, of course. "wAnNa mOtHeRfUcKiN rEtUrN tO tHe hOrN PiLe?" Equius nods, still touching his hair absently. The two leave the ablution block, and Gamzee carefully climbs back into the horn pile, assimilating himself among them comfortably. Equius followed hesitantly, trying not to crush more horns than he had to. When he'd arranged himself in a comfortably stiff position, Equius could hear Gamzee crawling through the horn pile, and sitting next to him.  
"hEy, yKnOw hOw tHe PiLe iS fOr tAlKiNg aBoUt fEeLiNgS aNd OtHeR wIckEd sHiT?" Equius nodded, feeling Gamzee touch the end of his braid gently. He didn't mind in the slightest, although it did contribute to his sweating.  
"That is what you told me."  
"wElL i InViTeD yOu oVeR sO i cOuLd tAlK aBoUt sOmE wIcKeD cOnFuSiNg sHiT." Equius nodded.  
"I will listen and advise as best as I can, Makara." Gamzee made a false annoyed face.  
"fInE, iF yOu mUsT bE fOrMaL, jUsT cAlL mE tHaT, aLtHoUgH i sTiLl pReFeR gAmZeE." He took a deep breath. "i hAvE sOmE cOnFuSiNg sHiT gOiNg oN wItH qUaDrAnTs." Equius straightened up.  
"I.. I am not very experienced in the endeavor myself, other than my STRONG moirallegiance with Nepeta.. What.. quadrant is troubling you?" Equius's face was a light periwinkle shade of blue.  
"i'M mOtHeRfUcKiN cOnFlIcTeD aNd tHaT wIcKeD sHiT, fOr ReD." Equius blinked.  
"You are having trouble in your flushed quadrant?" Gamzee laid back in the pile, arms beneath his head, shirt hiking up slightly around his waist.  
"i dOnT kNoW wHaT tO mOtHeRfUcKiN dO."  
"Is this troll of a lower caste than yourself? Hopefully not too low." Gamzee frowned.  
"yOu kNoW i dOnT cArE aBoUt tHaT hEmOsPeCtRuM sHiT, bUt nO. tHeY aReN't TeRrIbLy fAr BeLoW mE oN tHe SpEctRuM." Equius, nodded, slightly relieved, but a little annoyed at the Highb100d's lack of care towards the caste system.  
"Then what is the problem?" Equius touched his chin. "Oh, if you are flushed for Nepeta, it would make sense you would consult me first, as custom says the moir-" Gamzee cut in quickly.  
"nO nO bRoThEr, yOuR pAlEmAtE iSn'T tHe OnE i'M cArRyInG a FlUsHcRuSh fOr." Equius nodded, considering. He startled slightly, turning to stare at Gamzee.  
"It isn't the seadweller, is it? His kind isn't right fo-" Gamzee shook his head, moving his arms to wave them in Equius's direction.  
"nO, eRiDaN aNd fEfErI aRe jUsT wIcKeD bRoThErS oF tHaT gOoD mIrAcLe wE cAlL fRiEnDsHiP." Equius exhaled with relief.  
"You startled me Makara. But I can't think of any others I know who are near your caste, except for the tealb100d and the Serket girl." Gamzee sighed.  
"nOt ThEm eItHeR. mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS cOuLdN't gEt mE tO fAlL fOr sErKeT. sHe nEeDs tO lEaRn tO bE nIcEr tO tAvBrO." Equius didn't understand why Gamzee cared about that lowb100d, but he wouldn't tell him that.  
"Then who? The jadeb100d? That's a stretch to say you're close on the hemospectrum." Gamzee shook his head again.  
"nO. aNyWaY, i dOn'T kNoW wHaT tO mOtHeRfUcKiN dO. sHoUlD i tElL tHeM? oR jUsT kEeP fEeLiNg mY fEeLiNgS iN sEcReT?" Equius shrugged, still pondering who Gamzee could be referring to. He deserved someone of his own b100d, not anyone lower than him. He should grow into his role and find a good quadrant-mate, someone worthy of his attention. Equius felt a twinge of annoyance when he wondered why he felt so rueful at the idea.  
"I don't know, Makara. If there is a chance that this flush crush of yours could bear fruit and return your feelings, it may be worth telling them." He stared into his lap. "Although I doubt I would do that, personally. I don't tend to be good with words. Or feelings. Or anything.. delicate, really." Gamzee sat up, a few quiet honks resounding from the pile.  
"rEaLlY? i aCtUaLlY tHiNk i mIgHt hAvE a cHaNcE.. bUt wHo mOtHeRfUcKiN kNoWs. tHeY tEnD tO kEeP tHeIr mOuTh fLaPs sHuT aBoUt tHiS sTuFf." Equius furrowed his eyebrows, touching his temple with a few fingertips.  
"If you think so, it might be wise to find out your answer quickly. Then you won't have to waste your time flushing on a lost cause. They don't sound very worthy, anyway." Equius tried not to cross his arms. He settled on resting them in his lap. He did deserve more. Such a nobleb100ded troll deserved the best, and highest caste.  
"y'KnOw, i ThInK i WiLl tElL tHeM." Equius glanced over at Gamzee, watching him tug at a lovely purple spot on his pants. That color was so regal, he only wished Makara would grow into it.  
"Really? That is quite brave of you. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor." Gamzee grinned at him.  
"tHaNkS eQuIbRoThEr. bY tHe WaY, i JuSt wAnTeD tO tElL yOu ReAl QuIcK wHo mY fLuShCrUsH iS. MaYbE yOu cAn hElP mE fInD oUt iF tHeY rEtUrN tHaT wIcKeD rEd fEeLiNg." Equius nodded, feeling an unexplainable and bothersome twinge of envy.  
"I will help however you solicit, Makara. Who is this flush crush of yours then?" Probably someone he didn't know well. Lucky bast- Fiddlesti%s, no time for such thoughts. He'd forced himself to get over some troublesome quadrant problems of his own of late, and he had no intention of letting them surface. He was too STRONG to let his feelings overpower him.  
"wElL.." Gamzee stared off into the distance, a bit purple in the face. "i kInDa hAvE a tHiNg FoR, uM." Gamzee touched one of his horns, still staring away. "mOtHeRfUcKiN mEsSiAhS hElP mE- oKaY jUsT. iT's yOu."  
Equius blinked, not immediately registering the statement by his superior.  
"What?"  
Gamzee stared off, avoiding eye contact.  
"mY wIcKeD rEd fLuSh cRuSh iS yOu. yOu'Re tHaT wIcKeD gOoD fEeLiNg i gEt wHeN i tHiNk aBoUt mIrAcLeS, CuZ. yOu'Re A mIrAcLe." Equius stared at the blushing nobleb100d, feeling sweat cropping up everywhere.  
"..Oh my." Gamzee looked back up, staring into the cracked sunglasses perched on Equius's face. "I-I need a towel." Gamzee watched Equius find the towel hurriedly, and covering his face with it, extraordinarily blue, with a worried expression.  
"sO, aNy FeElInGs bOiLiNg aWaY iN tHaT tHiNkpAn oF yOuRs?" Equius slid the towel down and scrubbed at his neck.  
"Fiddlesti%s. Ah- F-F.. Fuck." Gamzee blinked.  
"dId yOu motHeRfUcKiN sWeAr?" Equius covered his mouth.  
"Apologies M-Makara I just- fiddlesti%s, why didn't i bring more towels." Gamzee chuckled, honking slightly.  
"wHy sO sWeAtY, mY wIcKeD sTrOnG fLuSh CrUsH?" Still muffled, Equius's voice was shaky.  
"I am far below your notice, you shouldn't find someone of my caste to be.. find me to- Fiddlesti%s." Gamzee moved the towel, and Equius's face was nearly royal blue, and dripping with sweat.  
"mOtHeRfUcKiN mEsSiAhS, yOuR'e SwEaTiNg lIkE a mOtHeRfUcKeR." Equius shied away from the contact.  
"Highb100d- I mean Makara- I mean G-Gamzee, I am not a suitable choice, it would be m-much- oh fiddlesti%s, the fact that you h-have.. flushed- fiddlesti%s- caste difference-" He buried his face in the towel again, sweating.. buckets. A muffled voice slips out of the towel. "D-Depraaved.." Gamzee flushes, and pulls Equius's face up out of the towel. He's very b100, and his glasses are crooked. Gamzee removed his glasses, to better see the infinite void of blue, filmed over his eyes.  
"i dOnT gIvE a MoThErFuCkIn sHiT aBoUt tHe cAsTe sYsTeM, dO yOu.. aT aLl FeEl fLuShEd FoR mE?" Equius stared up a Gamzee with his already fully matured eyes swamped with his b100d color.  
"I-I.. Yes, if I must tell you, I have felt extreme red feelings towards you. M-My truest apologies Makara, it is not at all my place." Gamzee blinked.  
"rEaLlY? yOu ArEnT jUsT fUcKiNg wItH mE? mOtHeRfUcKiN mEsSiAhS.. bLeSsInG mE wItH a mIrAcLe LiKe tHiS.." Gamzee absently touched Equius's face. He was covered in sweat. Gamzee stepped back and helped hoist Equius out of his horn pile. Equius was shaky on his feet and would have slammed into the ground on his knees if Gamzee hadn't gently lowered him down. He grabbed the towel, knelt, and started wiping sweat off of Equius's face.  
"cAlM dOwN eQuIbRo, iT's nO bIg mOtHeRfUcKiN dEaL." Equius was sweating near feverishly, but gradually stopped shaking. He stared back at Gamzee and murmured weakly.  
"At least my hair isn't getting in my face.." Gamzee cut off his attempt to make awkward b100-faced statements by pulling him forward and pressing his lips to his. Equius's eyes flew open, and made a small noise in his throat. When Gamzee tilted his head and moved in closer, Equius shakily reached up, trying to avoid harming his flush crush with his immense b100b100d STRENGTH, and tilted Gamzee's chin upwards. Their mouths moved together, but Equius's sweating forced him to pull back for air quickly. "Mhaahh, Makara I'm s-so sorry- hff- out of breath-" Gamzee grinned, white makeup slightly smudged.  
"sO, bLuE bRoThEr, iNtErEsTeD iN a fLuShEd qUaDrAnT wItH lItTlE oLd mOtHeRfUcKiN mE?" Equius swallowed.  
"I-I'm not w-worthy, not at all, a b100b100ded lower caste like myself, with a nobleb100d like yourself? I'm not at all right for you." Gamzee grabbed Equius's face, staring him in the eyes.  
"i dOnT mOtHeRfUcKiN cArE. zAhHaK, wOuLd yOu bE mY mAteSpRiT? gIvE iT a ShOt?" Equius's face flushed blue again.  
"..Yes, but I'm still not worthy to be red with someone of your sta-MNF-" Gamzee muffled his status quo ramblings with another kiss. Their teeth clack and Equius eagerly lets Gamzee take  
control, tilting his head upwards, sweat beading on his face. Gamzee pulls away after a few moments, and presses a kiss to Equius's slick forehead.  
"mOtHeRfUcKiN aWeSoMe." Equius finds his broken toothed mouth spreading into a nearly unnoticeable grin.  
"I am honored beyond I can say, Makara." Gamzee grinned like the dazed sophor addict he was.  
"wElL, sHoUlD wE mOtHeRfUcKiN gEt tOgEtHeR oN aN oFfIcIaL aSs dAtE sOmEtImE?" Equius's face was still blue, fading slowly.  
"I would be honored. Should I host?" Gamzee shrugged.  
"wHy mOtHeRfUcKiN nOt. iSn'T yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiN mEoWrAiL eXpEcTiNg yOu sOoN?" Equius nods.  
"I will troll you with the details, I must go. Sorry about your horns." Gamzee shrugged, pulling Equius to his feet with surprising strength.  
"nO pRoBlEm eQuIbRo." Equius steadied himself and started for the door. Something hit him in the head when his hand was on the doorknob. It was another clean towel.  
"Thank you.. Gamzee."

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this is hard to read its really annoying to go back in and make everything a different paragraph instead of a different line, if anyone has trouble reading it just say so in the comments and i'll properly format it.
> 
> and if anyone wants, im willing to add another re-writing of this as a second chapter without the quirks just in case its hard to read with them


End file.
